So, you wake up feeling pretty optimistic, perhaps today will be the day you get shit done, or feel almost human! And then it happens. The notifications pop up on your phone from Facebook, Whatsapp, news alerts, Instagram follows and stories - bam! Suddenly, you feel overwhelmed and like everyone else is being proactive and nailing it while you’re still in your PJ’s wondering whether to eat dry cereal or go for it and crack an egg.
Love it or hate it, social media is the only way we’re able to socialise right now, so here’s a few tips to help you reduce the overwhelm on social media without hiding under your covers and disconnecting completely.
1. Take time out from social media when you need to
If you’re on your phone last thing at night, and again before you get out of bed in the morning, then those notifications, that news feed, and the excessive amount of memes your grandma sent at 5am (go cool grandma!), are bound to send you into a spin of overwhelm. And, when you’re having meme related dreams you know you’ve gone too far. This is why many people have taken to a digital detox, and researchers and think tanks have been trying to get us to spend less time on our phones for years. But, like a wet face mask that promises results and just seems to make more mess, is it even worth it, trying to leave your mobile for a while? Does it actually work?
Well, One study revealed that ‘using devices for emotional coping is associated with anxiety and depression’, which means it’s likely that in times of stress, we are exacerbating anxiety and depression by using our devices too much (except grandma, who’s having the time of her life sending those memes!).
So, to avoid overwhelm, it’s probably a good idea to set time away from social media each day. In fact, why not have a break from your phone, computer and digital devices for an entire day at least once a week?.
If you don’t think you can go a whole day, just make sure that during each day you set your phone aside for a while, especially when you feel vulnerable to overwhelm. Before bed and when you wake up is a good place to start.
2. Understand your social life needs right now
If you’re an introvert, quarantine probably hasn’t changed much of your daily routine or social habits. But if you are an extrovert, it’s probably quite tough and you might be using your devices for social connection intensely.
In a desperate scramble to make sense of a “new normal” there’s been a huge surge of online events and communities popping up, which adds a whole new level of overwhelm and pressure to get involved and join in. So, how do you decide where you put your time online? Maybe you should attend that event, join that community, or do your part for a friend launching a new online network? Stop right there. This isn’t about them, it’s about you. Whatever you decide to get involved with, if they’re not serving your social needs (the group is aimed at Friday Night Beers when you want Monday Evening Lipsyncs) it might be time to Marie Kondo your apps and the groups you are a member of, and throw out the ones that don’t bring you joy.
You can do this by deleting the apps you don’t like, or logging out of ones you want to keep but aren’t bringing you joy at the moment. And leaving Facebook groups, meetup groups or online communities that make you feel more anxious than positive. Instagram accounts that raise your stress levels and cause more jealousy and “hate likes” than inspiration and love are good to go in the bin too - unfollow that shit.
Maybe keep whatsapp though and just mute your notifications; Grandma will have no way to send you your daily memes if you do, and you know she loves her memes.
3. Try something new and invest in what brings you joy
So, we’ve identified the apps and accounts we don’t need, and we’ve deleted them. What next?
Now you can invest in the communities and connections that do bring you joy, whether that’s a group with friends, a networking group, a dog loving community or a support group. With your news feeds decluttered, you’ll see more of your desired content come up, and be able to interact with the groups and accounts that make you feel better, and less overwhelmed.
And, you can try new things too. Maybe you’ve wanted to try Houseparty or you want to invest your time in Pinterest so you can see more wholesome content. Set up new accounts and delete if they don’t serve you. Remember, it’s all about avoiding overwhelm.
And finally...
4. Don’t feel obligated to join in
FOMO (fear of missing out) is a thing people. And, event organisers know it, they will use it. So, if you’re struggling NOT to be involved in everything, then perhaps you do in fact, have FOMO. Here’s a quick FOMO symptoms checklist:
You want to do everything and be everywhere…
…but don't fully commit, in case something better shows up
You are constantly perusing facebook, twitter, instagram, Whatsapp and email
You feel bad when you miss out on something
You are attracted to experiences
You feel that you can't catch up with everyone else
You said yes! to at least two items of this list
If you answered yes to most of those questions, then it’s time to go cold turkey on your FOMO ways. Instead, you might try and invest your time in those groups that serve you, but know that opportunities to lip sync and do an online yoga class will still be there next week… and it’s entirely possible that coronavirus has changed the world enough that these online events will still be part of our lives!
So, if you want to stay in a state of serenity by reading Harry Potter in paperback format for the nth time, then do so! It will help with overwhelm to give yourself some time in the real world, even if it is on the same sofa you have sat on for hours and hours and hours on end now.
Let that overwhelm zoom off already
Change is scary, and right now there is a lot to navigate. You’ve had to let go of all of the old ways you used to socialise, let alone missing your local pub or favourite cafe, so it’s pretty understandable if you’ve got lost in overwhelm using social media. Well, enough already. Now is the time to start putting yourself first, start curating the content you see and prioritise the communities that make you feel good. Over time you will find your own way. Whatever you do, just do what works for you.
If you’re seriously struggling and feeling a little bombarded during social, there’s a really cool website called Time To Log Off which is worth checking out. Their mission is to help users overcome overwhelm and poor mental health due to social media.
If you’re trying to manage your freelance workload and social overwhelm, you could also take a look at our recent blog on how to set SMART goals during lockdown, and slowly but surely, you can start finding your own rhythm.