When your idea of connection has shifted from being surrounded by inspiring people and staring wistfully at your office sea view to a brief bedroom office visit from your partner ranting about the conspiracy theory behind brown sauce not arriving in the online shop (this just happened), you know shit just got really weird.

It’s a strange new world where we no longer have the same freedom of choice and, no matter how uncomfortable social media and video conferencing calls make you, we all need to embrace digital connection. For some this is natural and for others extremely uncomfortable but for all of us during this time it’s necessary, because meaningful and authentic connection isn't just a ‘nice to have’ it's a core human need. It feeds our sense of purpose, mental wellbeing and can even impact our physical health. In fact, studies have found that social connection strengthens the immune system, helps you recover from disease faster and may even lengthen your life. When you think of it like that, no matter how much you may be tempted to hide under a rock until this is all over, right now we can’t afford to be without human connection and, while it’s very difficult to achieve the same level of fulfilment digitally that we get from connecting in person, it’s not impossible. 

What do we mean by human connection?

Well, we don’t mean copping a feel on a night out or just physically being in close-proximity to other human beings. We mean meaningful human connection, which includes shared experiences, having similar ideas and common ground or sharing relatable feelings, which are all very much attainable at a distance. The key, however, to achieving all of these is authenticity. Author and speaker Brianna Wiest explains:

“Authenticity is required for connection… we have to give them our time and honest feelings and ideas and have shared experiences and openness. We do not connect with others by trying to earn approval, awe, compliments, appreciation, envy, or superiority. In the process of restoring a connection with others, we can realize that we actually create a connection with ourselves.”

This means that rather than presenting a filtered “version” of the truth, whether that is on social media or in yet another video conference call with your colleagues or clients - we all need to get better at using these digital mediums in a more authentic way. In other words, we need to do what we can to behave as we would in person with other people via digital channels. If we can do that successfully, then it is entirely possible to animate the connectedness we experience in the physical world. While it may not be exactly the same and a lot harder for anyone with less technical know-how or neurodiverse barriers, if you can embrace it and get connected authentically, it will be enough to sustain us when physical connection is not an option. 

5 ways to create a sense of connectedness online

Amidst the panic, fear and overwhelm, there is good news - it’s already happening. We are adapting and becoming more authentic with each other across digital. Albeit a forced reliance on digital communication, many people previously shy of video calls or reluctant to use social media are now embracing digital and having surprising positive experiences in the process.  Whatever stage you are at in embracing this ‘new normal’ and finding connectedness in a social distanced world, we’ve listed some ways people are keeping it real online and feeling connected. 

1. Niche Facebook groups with relatable content

At first the constant new groups cropping up were a bit overwhelming and likely the result of people grabbing for a sense of control and purpose at a very confusing time. Over time though, these groups have hugely impacted a sense of connectedness for members who feel safe in their groups to share, like and comment authentically. What’s great about joining a group with a specific aim or type of content is the reassurance you won’t have to scroll past any negative posts on route. Here’s a few that we know about - please do share any more that we can add to the blog via twitter @wearefribe #lockdownfacebookgroups. 

• Positive news on coronavirus - created to help redirect the noise to positive vibes

• Family lockdown tips & ideas - perfect for parents running out of ideas

• The Fallon’s Lockdown Songs - a joyful group for families that love musicals

• Frock up Friday - encouraging everyone to get dressed up and share their pics

• Go freelance, Go Big - a group we created to connect freelancers and offer direct support

2. Virtual pub meet ups and digital drinking

For those who love a good evening down the pub, digital pub meet ups are now very much a thing via WhatsApp, Instagram Live, Zoom and newly ‘on trend’ app, Houseparty. In a recent article one digital pub goer, Charlie from London, was quoted as saying: 

“They can take away my freedom but they can never take away my beers.” 

Either host your own with friends, or have a search for existing groups that are running these kind of meet ups. Here’s a good guide on how to use Houseparty to help you get started:

Of course, you don’t have to drink booze to connect with friends in this way, either arrange a sober hangout or scroll down for some more ideas. 

3. Get musical with karaoke or lip-sync sing-alongs

Laughter is also important and there’s nothing more giggle inducing than watching your friends or family try their hand at karaoke or lip-syncing. Using any of the video conferencing tools available, whether that’s Zoom, Google Hangouts, Skype or Houseparty - all you need to do is take turns to pick a song and go for it. There are also Karaoke specific apps out there to try or just have a search on YouTube - while it’s very likely you didn’t do this when you were together, this could be an opportunity to connect in a totally new way and create some unforgettable memories (especially if you record it!). To get you inspired here’s some of the best lip sync battles peformances:

4. Lighten up meetings with virtual effects

Before we were in this forced situation to be apart and lean on digital video conferencing to connect, earlier this year knowledge champion of Business Relationship Management, Danielle, pointed out that:

“People have lost the ability to connect and work together in a way that sparks creativity, that fosters chaos, (and) that supports failure.”

While there may be some meetings that are strictly business, we all need a little silly in our worlds right now and, if there was ever a time you could get away with lifting the mood, it’s now. So, why not add a little silly to your next meeting and invite others to join in, after all authentic human connection is important in business too and if you are a lone freelancer with no excuse for meetings to get silly in, then create some! Find your peers and create coworking sessions or check in with each other and just get silly. Whether it’s a little warm up before the meeting starts or a way to connect in between meetings to boost motivation and connect with fellow freelancers or employees across the business. Whatever you do though, try not to get stuck as a potato for the majority of your call like the now viral moment Political director Lizet Ocampo couldn’t work out how to switch back her screen:

Get to know the app behind the potato animation SnapCamera and have a little practice turning it off and on with friends first. In most cases you just need to change the camera setting inside your video conferencing app from SnapCamera to your usual camera. 

Even business needs humour and authenticity - so in yout next meeting try to be as you would be in person. To help demonstrate the power of silly, here I am waiting for attendees to join a call as a potato:

5. Video game or arrange a virtual games night

Contrary to popular belief, video games can actually be good for you with studies finding a direct causal link between video gaming and a volumetric brain increase, proving that playing video games for 2-hours a week can help slow the mental ageing process. Now, playing those games with your friends, family or even strangers brings us back to those qualities in human connection; shared experiences, relatable feelings and similar ideas - that’s a lot of benefits in one playful swoop. There are so many great gaming apps you could try including AirConsole which allows you to play Cards Against Humanity together online. Alternatively, you could just set up a group video chat and play the same board game or setup a quiz night. Not really a gaming fan? If you love watching a good movie with friends, you can install Chrome extension Netflix Party and watch them together online.

Whatever you do, make time for human connection

“Human connection brings complex values to our lives: relationships give us a sense of belonging in the group, a sense of identity in contrast to others in that group, an almost therapeutic-support system, and reason not to feel lonely.”  John Smith, therapist in Bellingham, Washington.

There is a lot of serious stuff going on right now, so it’s difficult to prioritise anything other than survival, but human connection is essential to your health, so no matter how weird it feels we urge you to come out of your comfort zone and make time in your isolated world for one or more of these ways to connect digitally.

And most importantly, good news. As I finish this blog I have received a WhatsApp message from my partner who has now found the brown sauce, it did arrive after all! What a relief.

Written by Jennifer Le Roux
Images sourced from unsplash.com